Monday, 29 July 2013

The Big Issue

Regarding time keeping...

What is it with people and being on time?

The issue I believe is that no one wants anyone to control us and being late is one way or objecting to the conformity of rules. However, it is also a way of totally dominating the space for others and in the same way perhaps even being disrespectful towards those on time...

Well, you could argue that people should just go ahead and do what needs to be done regardless of those who are late - and... yes, we do that, too. We do start - but hesitantly.

So why this outburst of obvious dismay, you may ask (or you may not). And it really isn't like that at all - it really is just a thought.

Even with a long-standing background in sales and marketing where time was always an issue and meetings were always delayed because of later comers I still find myself being utterly surprised when people are late, the concentration of late people I have had the pleasure of working with recently exceeds any number of lates I have experienced in the past - or perhaps I have not noticed it because my mindset was less focused or just different in that area - because Laughter Yoga is afterall one of these 'soft learnings' and 'so what' if we are a bit late...

NO! NOT 'so what'!

No matter what it is we are doing - being on time is a discipline that extends into all areas of life just like being late does.

What are we trying to avoid by being late? Or is it simply poor planning? Or perhaps it was the trains? Or the weather? Or the traffic? Or the cat that ran away? Or the bridge was up? Or the milk carton that spilled? Or other circumstances that we cannot be responsible for?

Hm, again - I disagree.
There is always something to take responsibility for and in that way be accountable. Otherwise we just plod along and do the 'lalalalala' thing pretending everything is alright and making the right excuse because it was other things that were to blame.

Where is integrity?

When I look at my life and what I do - nothing is perfect and yet all is as it is supposed to be and nothing is imperfect becauase of circumstances, only because of choices I have made - even when it doesn't seem like I made the choice.

I wonder if any of this makes sense...

So, dear Blog Reader, I am not having a go at anyone, I am only reaching out to anyone, myself included, who has ever made an excuse 'because of...' and suggesting that perhaps it is time to make changes to the areas in life that need changes in order to work.

With a sense of urgency and lots of love we venture out to change ourselves in order to change the world.

Check it out! It is great fun!

My life may not be totally perfect...
...but at least my integrity is intact!

PS It is 11:45pm on Monday evening and I was ALMOST late with this blogpost - did you notice?


JoyfulGent said...

It is sad that our culture allows anyone to not live up to their word so long as they have "A Good Enough Excuse". And what constitutes "Good Enough" is relative.
"Joe, Why did you miss our lunch appintment?"
Probably good enough excuses: 1. "I was kidnapped." 2. "I ran out of petrol." 3. "I was knocked out and unconscious."
Probably not good enough excuses: 1. "An old girlfriend showed up and I thought I might 'get lucky' - wink wink - so I went out with her." 2. "Even though I saw yesterday that I was low on gas, I decided to get drunk last night instead of buying gas." 3. "I got so wasted with that gal, I fell asleep from 4am til 2pm the next day."
Problem is, those "reasons" could be the exact same circumstance, just described from a different perspective. Ha ha ha ha ha...
Bottom line is: we're human, we can make errors in judgment... AND we can own up to our mistakes, apologize for those we disappointed our hurt (even IF we had a "good excuse"), and give assurances we'll be more considerate/less hurtful if a similar situation arises. For example, even if we have a GREAT reason for being late (got caught in a fender-bender, sunspots fried our cyber-calendar, etc.) we can still humbly apologize and create backup systems to be sure the problem doesn't happen again (e.g., "I'll call you the day before to confirm our exact meeting time and place; and if I don't reach you by 6pm, you have my permission to call ME up til midnite to find out if there's a problem."). Hmmm?

Lotte Mikkelsen UnitedMind said...

Of course we are human - thank goodness for that haha... This blog is more a reflection on patterns in our lives where it may be the same repetitive thing we do without even realising - so of course we are human but we also grow in this space of humanity. Peace!

Shanthi said...

Being late, being on time, or being early, relies on our acceptance of the concept of time.
Of course time is a human concept, a concept which, when we employ it allows us to lead our lives and activities within a social frame of reference. So of course time regulates the running of our lives and also regulates society, so that it may continue in an orderly way. Traffic lights, bus and trains times, working hours, event start and finish etc
Another way to understand time is, that all things, including this moment, arise and pass away...timeless moments eh?
Can it be the case that a soul which is perpetually late, does so in order to control other people? Mmmm, I wonder? Or is it that those who wait for the 'late one' feel that they are being controlled by another's lateness.
We only allow ourselves to 'feel controlled' by another person/event etc if we hold that perception in the first place. After all, we have all been 'late' for something at some time or another and often it is not our intention to be late.

At any time, we all have many other choices of how to respond in any given situation, and so a positive reframe of a situation can change our perception in an instant and therefore change how we feel about it. eg. waiting for someone can help the development of patience and indeed laughter at what may be a challenging time.
And a reframe may help to keep us away from valued based judgements about other beings, which after all are our views, they are not reality.
When folk are not on time, and even perpetually late for meetings, learning events, appointments, then my practice is to acknowledge that the soul is late and continue with what is planned. Only after the event can I investigate what may have led to someone's late arrival.

Being on time for events, interviews, meetings etc depends on us being conscious, present, and in the 'now' - this timeless moment.
So perhaps managing our time well is about being mindful, being aware and being with ourself, day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute

With love and laughter