Monday, 24 June 2013


We all have different levels of confidence and the comfort zone is different from person to person and then we have the hand we are dealt which determines the challenges and karma, as some would refer to it, we are faced with...

However, these feelings or boundaries are often mistreated as well as misrepresented in our society in such an unworthy way that leave people with a strong sense of self and enjoyment beat up by saddos and negative people who are jealous that fun can be had without substance intake and laughter is celebrated together and not as a taunt and spiteful activity in your face at you.

My friend and her mate were attacked at a great gig last week and this spurred our conversation about the insecurity and cynicism that flourish among us in life. During a superb event in London a random stranger leapt at them trying to push them over the balcony - fortunately without any luck - and all seemingly because they actually enjoyed the music, laughing, dancing, singing and having a blast...

Now, I know I'm not the quitest of people and my laughter is loud and expressed but my friend is certainly in the same league and it is always a treat to spend time in her company.

Why are we trying to suppress this natural expression?

Considering we are holding onto old air at the same time, I think it is a choice we are merely being brought up to think is acceptable mannerism.

Why is everything 'supposed' to be so controlled?

A laugh should be allowed to be fully outburst but in our suspicious society where rules are keeping us eyeing anyone who is a bit to loud. 'Lower your voice', 'You are so embarassing', 'I'm NOT with you' and comments like that... All because of patterns, conditioning and behaviour we have grown up with and if anyone steps out of these norms, well, shame on you!

There should be a course and an exam in self-expression, self-esteem, real values, and other important lessons in our schools so that we can more easily face the cynics and their sarcasm instead of getting knocked back and go into hiding. Or even remove the cynicism altogether - I know that's a very-long-term goal but one to work towards.

Jealousy of successes is also a major factor in people withdrawing from having a good laugh. We should celebrate success for other people because it brings joy to ourselves, but instead we go into nagging and discomfort and the place of greed and why isn't it me types of thinking... Comments like 'Born with a silverspoon...', 'They had it all made for them in the first place', 'Never had to lift a finger...' and other sentences are common. We say them behind people's backs to make us feel better about our own situation instead of stepping out of our own comfort zone and risking a bit of our ingrained need to comply with society's norms.

And it is all down to the risks we take!
Or don't take...

I challenge you this week to notice when you stop yourself from being your joyous self - noticing is the first step to the real value of letting it go! and when you notice... laugh! or sing! however random and out of context it may seem.

I love my own successes as well as the challenges I face, and I love it when I see people succeed around me - we cannot succeed without wanting other people to do the same and celebrate whatever success looks like!

By the way - loving my own successes is not said in a pompous, bragging way or with money-only in mind - not at all, but moreso said as a means to make self-acknowledgements acceptable and a way to prosper in all areas of life.

Life really IS full of surprises...
...and laughter shall set you free!

1 comment:

Steve Wilson, Psychologist and Cheerman of the Bored said...

Lotte, It seems to me that an extreme lack of emotional education, e.g., all emotions are allies; some are unpleasant, leads people to not know how to read, manage, or properly express their feelings. One result is their baffling behavior, such as trying to throw others off of balconies, and worse. You might like the ideas of this British educator BOYGW Steve